Jokes!Ha Ha Ha!
A blind man goes into a whorehouse and asks for a girl. The madam figures, since he's blind, she'll just give him an inflatable, lifesize doll -- he won't know the difference. So the man goes in the room with the inflatable girl and comes outfive minutes later. The madam asks him what happened and he says, “I slapped her ass, she farted and blew out the window.” | A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy. The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish. The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away. The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn. The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish. She panics. "Crap!" |
1) How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.2) How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? You open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.3) The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend? The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.4) There is a river you must cross. But it is filled with crocodiles. How do you manage it? You swim across -- all the crocodiles are attending the animal conference. | A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank.Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:"We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?""Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?" |
